graduation Thursday, Sep 17 2009 

Today we posed in a slight drizzle to have our graduation group photo taken. There’s something to be said for being crammed with a huge load of people into a small space. I could care less though, at least it’s over. The last group photo I will ever have taken of me in high school. Ever. Everyone always seems to ask me whether or not I like high school. At this question I must laugh. It seems to me the majority of people who do this have no idea what high school has been about for me, or have not had the same type of experiences, so even when I do care to mention that it’s been one shithole after another, they fail to comprehend. Usually, it involves me relating an incidentĀ  (or incidents) where I have had a not so good time, and whoever I am talking to turns to me and sayings something along the lines of “why is that bad?” or “i don’t see why that’s a bad thing….” or “that doesn’t bother me.” Then I wonder about why I even bothered to bring this up in the first place. I suspect it’s probably the majority of the people I describe these things too are white, rather than a minority, or, where some of these icidents are concerned, Native. Every time I have ever talked about them with another Native person, it’s always the same, or at least the same type of thing. Never a confused glance or a blank stare of utter unrelated, always agreement, even if it isn’t a good incident. It’s just the same shit different pile, really. Sometimes it isn’t as obvious as others, which is codename for “harder to deal with” ie. no-one outside your own minority or experience will pick up on it, and therefore whatever is going on will be allowed and possibly even supported, because no-one else besides you is being affected by it. Sometimes this is the most frustrating thing in the world. (Just to clarify, we had 6 Native kids at my highschool, and 5 this year. I know exactly who they all are) I belong to a sort of social justice youth group which is located a youth centre which is about 80% Native. As far as I know, we are one of the only groups using the space which has white people in it. Even though we are surrounded by Native people, the majority of people in the group are white (I’m still trying to figure this out, but I do have my hypothises), and thus when we discuss things of a personal nature (which we do often which I find good), often people will look at my with the expressions I have described before, almost as if we need a translator or something. With a couple people in the group, I am about at my wits end right now. The part that really ticks me off is the fact that both of them have the experience of being a minority (they are both Jewish fyi),but fail to see the comparison at the very basic level, even though I am sure they both possess the brains and hearts to do that. I guess it’s just part of the whole mess, but honestly, I wish some people would stop closing their minds, or have a little fucking compassion once in a while….

Hello world! Wednesday, Sep 16 2009 

For once, I actually agree with a choice of heading.

That is something which I find quite satisfying, considering 5 years of public schooling, and everything else before that.

To be perfectly honest, I have no idea why I started a blog. No, that is not true, I would be lying if I said that. Actually, I sort of know, and I sort of don’t, but I don’t expect anyone to read it, let alone comment (god help me the day that happens!), so at the very least it will be a chance to express my thoughts to the great void of the internet…. as I have done many times before.

Perhaps it would be the most polite to introduce myself…. at least partially, since I will NOT be giving you my address, phone #, et al. If you want that, then, well…. let me just me nice and say this isn’t the thing for you, ’cause that sorta behaviour isn’t my calling.

I’m old enough to be your relative (most likely a younger sibling, cousin etc.)

I’m old enough to have a brain (still youth)

I’m old enough to have a driver’s liscence

I’m old enough to make my own choices and decisions

I’m old enough to not have to worry about walking aloneĀ  in the dark (does depend a little on where you walk though, but I am being general here)

I’m old enough to know that some people who read this wouldn’t treat me with respect if they met me in person

I’m old enough to know that racism is a hell of a lot more common that white or lighter skinned people like to think

I’m old enough to know that gender isn’t binary

I’m old enough to know that my family isn’t made up of my biological relatives

I’m old enough to know that there are too many identities in the world for them all to be translated/written/defined

I’m old enough to know that mental wellness isn’t a give-in

I’m old enough to know that the system only works for/with those it likes

I’m old enough to know there are other people in the world who do share similar views

I’m old enough to know I can define myself